I am.

What follows "I am..." or "you are..." or "she/he is..." is a label.  Labels can be very problematic and can undermine connection and happiness for a few very important reasons.

One problem is that labels can entrap us into behaviors that may not be reflective of what we want or need in the moment. And, we may become more focused on either proving or disproving the label rather than simply BEING Who We Are, without evaluation, rationalization, or justification.

Another problem is that labels may result in our actions not being intrinsically motivated, but extrinsically motivated. That can be dangerous and can make us susceptible to the manipulation and will of others, who may not have our best interests at heart.

Labels can stunt our emotional growth. When we wear and believe in our assigned labels, we may not take opportunities that go against the label because we become concerned about what other people think.

For example, a sweet and well-meaning friend used to define me as a "good problem-solver," and while I felt flattered, I also felt put upon to BE a good problem-solver, even when I didn't have a clue. That felt like a burden and it prevented me from being open to learning in new ways. I also didn't always feel like I was such a "good problem-solver," and there was a part of me that felt fraudulent and concerned I'd get found out and only be a disappointment to my friend.

Labels can obscure Who We Really Are, not only from our friends and loved ones, but maybe even from ourselves. 

If we want to follow the words "I am..." or "you are..." or "she/he is..." with anything, let that word be "...enough."

♥ ♥ ♥

Thank you for reading! I hope this little exploration is helpful to you. Please feel free to share it with anyone you feel might benefit from this. And, also feel free to contact me if you have any questions or thoughts.

Be well and be kind,

telephone: 845.657.3111

P.S.  To learn more about gaining great tools for making great peaceful parenting choices, you could get in on one of the upcoming Making the Switch to Peaceful Parenting teleclasses that are being often offered. It doesn't matter where you live (in fact, there are local call-in numbers for more than 55 countries!).  Visit the Upcoming Events page to find a class that is starting soon at a time that works for your schedule.

And, if you have a question you'd like to ask the Peaceful Parent Whisperer, click on this link to go to the Ask a Question Form.